The Evolved Nest

This isn’t just a book review—it’s a reflection on parenting, healing, and remembering what we’ve forgotten about raising children close to nature.

For my birthday, our daughter made her father help her choose a few items from my Amazon wishlist, and of course, our little bibliophile insisted on including a book (because the cover looked “super like something Maman would love!”).

She was completely right on that account. For days after my birthday, she kept asking for updates on my to-be-read pile, pressuring me to start her book.

I'm so very glad I picked it up. How fitting that she would gift me a book about how we, as a society, can raise our children in peace and harmony with the natural world.

The main concept is this: throughout their evolution, each species has developed an optimal way to raise its young—methods that promote ecological balance with their environment and coexisting species. One of the book’s most powerful points is that modern society causes psychological trauma not only in humans but also in the animals whose lives we disrupt.

The only downside is that this book is the author’s thesis, and the wording and rhythm reflect that. If you haven’t had higher education or built a vocabulary of psychological and evolutionary terms, you’ll probably want to keep a dictionary close.

Here are a few terms and concepts that were new or unfamiliar to me:

• Alloparenting: Care provided by individuals besides the parents. A fundamental aspect of the human condition. It helps individuals understand their place in the world and their immediate community. Not all species practice alloparenting, but a surprising number do.

• Epigenetics: Early life experiences can alter how your genes are expressed—without changing the DNA itself—affecting emotional regulation, immunity, and cognitive development. Nearly all of us have the genetic potential to become balanced, healthy, and happy adults. Still, our earliest experiences can shape our biology to prepare us for the danger or safety of the world as we perceive it.

• Exogestation: The period from birth to crawling—about 255 days—during which a human infant is still developing to the point where most other baby animals are at birth. During this time, aspects of personality are shaped in relation to physical contact and responsive care.

• Kincentric Ecology and Indigenous Knowledge Systems: Non-Western and Indigenous worldviews often uphold “evolved nest” principles by valuing kinship with nature and communal responsibility. These systems reflect sustainable, time-tested ways of belonging to the earth.

While it was a challenge to get through parts of the book (I mean, in a 232-page book, over 60 pages are footnotes and acknowledgments!), I’m so glad I pushed through. It’s deeply validating to read that scientists and psychologists around the world affirm what I’ve come to know through lived experience: something crucial is missing in the way we live on this planet.

We’ve forgotten that we are equals among all the other living beings on Earth. And it is unsustainable to continue living as though we have dominion over all of it.

Yes, part of me regrets that I spent much of my daughter’s infancy in the blur of postpartum burnout. But I also know I didn’t "ruin" that wonderful little girl—and that my best has been enough for her.

Now, I want to keep improving the nest in which we raise her. I want to help strengthen the nest for all the children of our species. And to do that, I know I must not focus only on the children, but also on recruiting their parents into a worldview rooted in one essential truth:

We must do better. We can do better.

Book mentioned:

The Evolved Nest: Nature’s Way of Raising Children and Creating Connected Communities by Darcia Narvaez and G.A. Bradshaw

If you'd like a simple overview of the book’s big ideas, I created this infographic to share some of the key concepts in accessible, everyday language. It’s a gentle guide to what “The Evolved Nest” really means—for humans, for other animals, and for the planet we all share.

Click the image to get the pdf from Canva

🔍 Want to go deeper?You can learn more about the science and philosophy behind The Evolved Nest—including videos, resources, and free tools for parents and educators—at evolvednest.org.